Japan is to blame for all the weird alpaca games

I realize all of these games starring odd alpaca doing weird things isn’t totally Japan’s fault, but Japanese developers did start this trend. Let’s go ahead and direct our cross glares there. If it weren’t for Cocosola paving the way with things like Alpaca Evolution and Alpaca Evolution Begins, we’d certainly be in a better place. These things did happen, though, and now we have to deal with additional oddities as a result.

Probably the best of which is Alpaca World. Of all the camelid cameos on the various app stores, Alpaca World is the one with the most meat. It’s a RPG where people capture alpaca in fields, battle them against one another, sell their wool for money and even breed them in the hopes of getting different, better creatures. It’s essentially Alpokemon. (I’m so sorry for that) There are hats too, which Team Fortress 2 and Mii Plaza have taught us are pretty great.

It’s certainly better than a game like Alpaca Pasture. To be completely upfront with you fine people, I didn’t play Alpaca Pasture. I couldn’t bring myself to pay $0.99 for a game where the prime directive is “Please touch the mouth of an alpaca.” No. Especially since that really seems to be the whole point, based on screenshots. You don’t encourage people by giving them money for a game like that.

Unfortunately, I did encourage the creator of Super Emo Alpaca by downloading and playing it. The closest thing to a clone/successor to Alpaca Evolution, Super Emo Alpaca features all sorts of horribly depressing animals in various states of life and un-life. You tap and swipe ones in the field to send them… somewhere? This makes two that have been set to breed fall in love faster, I think? It’s very obtuse. The game also appears to encourage you to feed the cotton candy-colored creatures to each other. It’s an incredibly dark app, which I hesitate to call a game due to a lack of gameplay elements. (It’s really more of a clicker experience.) Let’s say this is a thing that exists because somebody in Japan saw Alpaca Evolution do well and leave it at that.

Tsk tsk, Japan. You went and ruined a fluffy, adorable animal for us.